I would never have thought that what we started would become something so important to me.
What started out as fun and forbidden became something too big either of us could handle. I wasn’t intending to want you for myself, but the more I got to know you and the more I spent time with you, the harder it was to stay away from you.
That night I kissed you last year during spring break changed my life forever, and since that day you haven’t left my mind. How crazy is that? That I’ve thought about you every single day for over a year.
After that night, I started to fall for you and it started to get messy because I wasn’t supposed to. We weren’t supposed to get caught up but we did…
I loved how funny and adventurous you were. I love how we would find anywhere to make out and just be teenagers, I couldn’t do that with anyone else. I miss talking on the phone with you late every night, sneaking off from the group to be alone, and just knowing that I wanted you as much as you wanted me.
But the more o feelings that got involved, the less fun it became. After summer, I decided to end things with you because I really was in love with you, but it became way too hard to watch you be with someone else. And it was, til this day, the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
After that we stopped talking and we would see each other and never say anything. It was too hard.
We recently found our way back to each other, but something keeps messing it up. How can two people who want to be together not be able to make it work?
I think we’re both too scared of getting hurt, cause its so easy for the other person to do. But I would never hurt you, and I wish you trusted me enough to believe that. I’m sorry that I ever gave you a reason not to trust me.
I’ve never loved anyone more than I have loved you. And I could care less if we are together or not, I just want you to be happy. And I want you a part of my life, always.
I almost wish we never started what we started cause were always mad at each other, and before that, I considered you one of my best friends.
When you told me you loved me, I knew it was true because I know how hard it was for you to say. But I know you keep hearing shit about me, and it keeps pushing you away. But I have not given anyone as much as I have given you. It hurts knowing how we feel about each other, but shit keeps happening and we can never be happy together for too long.
If it’s real, well find our way, but just know that whatever happens, I will fight to have you in my life. With all I fucking have. Until I’m weak.
I love you.
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